Who starts the conversation
Which person sends the first message of the day, tallied across every active day — one of the plainer signals of who’s reaching out.
Of everything a chat export can measure, this is one of the least ambiguous: on any day with activity, exactly one person sent the first message, and totaling that up across a whole year produces a real, simple split — 53% to 47%, say. It doesn’t capture who initiates specific topics or plans, only who happens to open the day’s first exchange, but as one input alongside double-texting, reply speed, and message volume, it’s a genuinely useful piece of a fuller picture.
Example
Across 111 active days, one person opened the day 59 times (53.2%) and the other 52 times (46.8%) — close enough that neither person is clearly "chasing" the other on this measure alone.
Frequently asked questions
What if both people message on the same day but I want to know who was truly first?+
Whichever message has the earlier timestamp on that calendar day wins that day’s count — ties are resolved by the export’s own timestamp order.
Is a 50/50 split the healthiest outcome?+
Not necessarily — some perfectly happy relationships have one person who’s simply a morning person and always texts first. It’s most useful compared alongside the other measures, not read as a verdict on its own.